Emotional resistance stems from fear; fear that the pain of changing, no matter how much we wish to change, will be more than we can tolerate. By convincing ourselves that it is easier to ignore the pain, we resist change, in spite of the fact that it is often easier to face the pain and make the change than it is to resist it.
There are two types of emotional resistance:
- Emotional Avoidance
- Unconscious Negative Emotions
Emotional avoidance is the denial of feelings, possibly through the use of alcohol or drugs to dull the pain we feel, while unconscious negative emotions stem from the deeply seated fear of change and the emotional pain it may cause. Becoming conscious of these feelings is the first step to resolving and eliminating them.
When we ask ourselves a simple question, “Does this emotion serve me and my goals?” we begin to glimpse the negative emotions we need to change, the fear that restricts our growth and happiness. If your goal is to become a better person, a happier person, you must set aside these fears to move toward your goals.
Awareness is the first step to overcoming the emotional resistance to change, while making the commitment to changing these feelings comes next, followed by the practice of managing these feelings. By being mindful of the patterns you follow on a daily basis, by observing your thoughts and feelings, you will give yourself the opportunity to change them. One you recognize the negative aspects of your thought process, dedicating yourself to changing them becomes easier, and training yourself to do so will also become simpler for you.
Of course, this sounds simpler than it is, since we tend to hold our belief systems and thought processes very dear however, it is possible to overcome our emotional resistance to change, through the use of mindfulness, commitment, and daily practice.
Remember this, “That which you resist will forever exist.”
If you are trying to overcome your own tendency toward emotional resistance, and believe you would benefit from therapeutic help in doing so, get in touch with us today.
Hello, firstly this was a really insightful article thank you for this kind of guidance. I am someone who has wrestled with low self esteem since childhood due to a series of unfortunate experiences that led to a poor self image, im constantly bombared with negative thoughts about failure and incapabaility from my mind and ive been looking for a solution for about 4 years now. I know deep down ive had to change but after spending so much time in a rut caused from depression i either get to intimiated or find myself too lacking in energy to make the full jump any pointers you have would be much appricated
Hi Jordan,
I too have been where you are now. I had a debilitating panic disorder including deep depression. My life has taken a 180-degree turn and it is wonderful now. I have not taken medication in over 25 years and have had no bouts of depression or anxiety for over 20 years! Energy work and counselling is the key here and from there the sky is the limit to what you can do with your life! I’m living proof of that. Please contact me via email if you would like help with this. There is a light at the end of a very dark and long tunnel.
Love and Peace
Cheryl