By: Rachel Moheban
Relationships take work. They don’t just magically happen and fairytales are never true. The truth is that being in a positive and healthy relationship requires attention from both ends in order to make it grow and work for the long term.
If you, as a couple, have taken a turn for the worse, it can be difficult to see past the conflict and get back on the right track without the proper tools and information. Everyday life stress such as work, finances and health can affect how we communicate and appreciate our “better half”. It can be extremely easy to neglect your partner, especially if you have been together for years. Taking one another for granted and neglecting to remember why and how the relationship began in the first place is one of the biggest mistakes couples make.
So how do you get that spark back? How do you build something that will last for the long term together and rediscover that intimacy you may have lost? Here are five tips to experiencing a much needed breakthrough in your relationship and discovering true connection and intimacy:
Be your partner’s friend
When you first met your partner, you may have been attracted to his or her looks over personality at first. For couples who are aiming for the long term, that lust eventually turns into an appreciation for who one another is on the inside and out. It’s important to develop a friendship in order to help each other through the good times and enjoy each other’s company through the good. Take up a hobby together such as karate classes or set a weekly date to see a movie or go out to dinner.
Surprise your partner
Whether your partner is having a bad day, has to work late, simply looks like he or she needs a pick me up, surprise them with a romantic meal, a massage, sexy lingerie or a weekend getaway. Spontaneous surprises keep the romance alive and create the same sparks that flew when you two first met.
Enjoy change
Change is a natural part of life, but many couples don’t know how to approach it. Sometimes couples grow apart rather than together during life altering events. Instead of despising change, why not embrace and enjoy it instead? Wouldn’t life be boring if everything remained the same? Even if it’s not positive change, throwing away an otherwise great relationship is no way to resolve the issue. Be patient and communicate your concerns in order to find a solution together rather than separately.
Give the gift of music
Create a CD or playlist filled with your loved one’s favorite songs. Play them when he or she arrives home or slip them into their iPod so you’re thought of even when you’re not around.
Discuss the future
Talking about the future with one another conjures up feelings hope and excitement. Discuss where you would like to take your next vacation or where you see yourself living in five years. Your discussions will create events to look forward to as a couple rather than leaving the future as a question mark.
Learn more tips on how to keep your relationship alive through proactive approaches and adaptive techniques through the Relationship Breakthrough Program http://www.couplestoolkit.com/, presented by New York City Couples Therapist, Rachel Moheban.
